I'm not sure what i should do.. my parents abuse me..?
So I am sixteen, I live in B.C. My mom and dad used to abuse my three brothers and me when i was little, and they moved out a long time ago and now i am stuck here. They constantly call me down and hit me. My dad is an alcholic, aswell as my mom.. but my dad is on antibuse so he cannot drink and my mom is not. I live a good distance out of town, and they lock me out of the house sometimes, sometimes at night too and it gets really cold.. my mom will start screaming in my face and hold my throat against the wall and if i try to move or stop her from doing that she will hit me, i have bruises all down my ribs, arms and legs and my head it swollen from having my hair pulled so much. I have gotten so sick of it that i just fight her back now, and im sick of putting up with this shit when i am a good kid. My dad, if he gets really mad.. he would seriously kill me, he almost killed my brother one year i remember…. anyways there is just too much to talk about and explain.. the point is that i am unable to live there anymore, i really think that if i have to stay there i will end up killing myself.. And i cant just leave because i am Type one diabetic and i am very insulin dependant.. Social services have been involved with my family a few times before but i just wont leave.. I finally talked to a school councilor a few days ago at school and she called a social worker that i have talked to about a year ago, and she knows my situation and everything. But basically, my only choices are to go home, or get foster parents in another town. I really dont want to go home.. i cant do it.. but i also dont want foster parents at all! I dont want to have to go to a new school and lose all my friends, and just everything about it.. I refuse to go to foster care.. and they wont let me go on independant living even though i am 16, i get good grades and i am responsible (theres stuff they dont know ive done lol) but really.. i am going to have to go home at some point.. i will need more insulin and diabetes supplies.. im staying at a friends house at the moment, but they dont exactly have much money and they are getting evicted on the 1st and even though a few friends of mine have said i can stay/live with them.. i just dont want to do that to them, you know what i mean? If you were me, what would you do? I really, im just lost… I feel like theres no hope..
Also, the councilor said that if i was ever able to find a roomate/rent and apartment on my own, that the government or whatever would cover my medical stuff for my diabetes, is this true? I dont know what to do.. especially since i also have school.. and i dont look at dropping out as an option.. since ive made it to grade ten i might as well suck it up until i grad so i can have a better future..
Thanks for any answers..
The thing is.. my brothers think im just the "little princess" and they wouldnt help me.. And my parents put on a show infront of everyone so it seems like theres nothing wrong. My mom is very strong, but i can take her, but my dad on the otherhand.. i could never even.. wow. I dont really have a job at the moment because i live too far out of town and my parents wouldnt drive me. .. Im surprised by how many people have answered this though.. wow, thank you guys..
Filed under: Cure Diabetes Natural
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In this situations theres nothing else to do but to just do whats right for you, you need to get out of there. the government does pay for your medical bills if you have troubles at home. Try to move out as fast as possible, if you have a job save up some money so you can make a down payment on a small apartment. usually what they do is they would put you in foster care. since you dont want that then try saving money and moving in with a friend that already has a place of their own. it would be so much easier to get into the foster program because it is so much easier to see about your medical coverage, and you dont want to have to go through the process of applying for it, but i understand your position and i know treatment for diabetes is very expensive ( i have type 1 diabetes) so do whatever you can to get that coverage. It is hard when life trows a little to much in our path but remember theres always something better waiting for us.
GOOD LUCK ; ]
call the police
Get outta that sh*t hole. You should not have to take that crap. Social services should help!!
that really sucks. i think you should try to get a roomate or something cuz that seems like your best choice.
Please go to your friends house !PLEASE!
wow thats really sad. im sorry you have to go through that
i hate when i hear of stories like these. and thats a tough situation with you only being 16. not much you can do unless you dont mind getting foster parents. alot of times foster parents are very nuturing and supportive cause they cant have kids of their own but it can be a little awkward cause they are essentially strangers to you. i wish i knew the right thing to say but i really dont. if you need someone to talk to anytime im a good listener and would be here to talk if you can find me. i hope things work out for the better… anyone deserves better than that
What I would do,Is just pack my stuff tonight,and then sneak out and just run…And if my mom or dad tried to hit me,i would hit them back..Don’t be afraid to actually HIT them,and stand up to them. You are 16,You are old enough to drive a car,Maybe you can call around,and see if any of your relatives live where you are at. OR YOU CAN CALL THE POLICE! That would probably be a very good decision,social services should help you..And if they don’t..they should lose their job. Sometimes kids like you DON’T have a choice,but to run away from it all. Sure you might have to move,and make new friends. But would you rather that happen,Or get killed by your parents..{Literally killed} If my advice doesn’t help,just do whatever you feel is right.
Best of luck! {Sorry what you are going through}
when it gets painful enough you will not need help deciding. Sooner or later a foster home and moving as far away as you can will sound better and better with each bruise and punch. You can make time for your friends from your foster home but not from the GRAVE. Be smart and get yourself to safety before its too late.
Oh dear… I’m so sorry about what goes on in your life. I think you should try living with one of your friends whose parents love you and will let you stay with them. Other than that, you could try finding a room mate to an apartment, but that would be rather difficult. I know it’s hard moving away from all your friends, but if you can’t do anything else then you should move out of your current home and into a foster home. It would be better than staying at your current home. Maybe you can talk to your brothers and try living with them. Family is family you know? They should help you out. I don’t want you to live your life in this torment. Everyone deserves a chance to be happy. Just do whatever you can to get outta there and I’m glad you have taken action against them. God bless you and good luck!
go straight to the police.. I mean NOW
If I were you, I would take up my friends offers and stay with them, moving from one to the other until I graduate. (Just don’t be too needy at their houses if you feel bad that they have to take care of you.) Try talking to your friends about it, so you could at least to get it all out to relax your stress. You should also get the police involved as well, either after you graduate or can get your own place. Try to get a job with your friends or something. Just hang on. :3
The system that services you is flawed at best but the people who volunteer their homes are for the most part understanding people. You will have your medical needs taken care of but you may have to resign your self to living in another town. just remember to keep your head up. This is not your fault. You are old enough now to work in BC and you could consider just moving out on your own. Social services are slow to respond to non sexual complaints, but they can help you even if you just leave. Good luck and take care.
P.S. Don’t allow yourself to be victimized, finish school even if it is by correspondence.
I was in a family much like yours and even though I didn’t like it at the time I am so grateful for being placed in foster homes and finally and permanently in a group home. So much in fact that I consider these "staff members" to be my family! I am 23 now and still visit the group home for the holidays and important events.
I really believe that if the adults around me did not make that decision I would be as good as dead right now. I whined, moaned and complained that I didn’t want to go (my parents bought me a puppy to make me say this) But my life was so much more stable and happy being with real normal people!! It was easy for me maybe not for some of the other children but they weren’t there because their families were rotten people, they were. I went to school, came home studied for an hour, ate dinner, chores had probably about 30 minutes to do what I wanted and then off to bed, this was my life for years.
But I loved knowing what was expected of me and loved knowing that I wouldn’t miss school because my father had just beat me to a pulp because I couldn’t find his car keys fast enough. It was just so simple compared to the life I had with my family.
As for the apartment I am not sure with your area about the laws, but here in Vermont you will need to be emancipated first, be able to work at least part time and I do believe that the government will cover at least most of your supplies and will most likely give you insurance. This is all a lot to take on especially while going to school.
my only true concern would be that with all of the extra load you would lose sight of your school work.
Again in my area I would have been able to request a 2 week stay at a foster home if I wished, I of course never did and was eventually taken once people noticed I was in immediate danger. Maybe you could ask your social worker about a temporary stay to feel it out or at the very least take a breather from your family. Good luck!
first im so sorry you havet to go through that what i would do is get i job dont say you dont have time for it just do it its basicly a neccesity at this pointstay away but also look for help for your brothers they need you to and if your mom attacks you you do this, if she grabs you from behind you step on her foot then use the back of your hand to hit her nose then elbow the stomch then turn around and kick, next if your dad hits you (be close to a door i dont know how strong you are)you use your elbow and hit him in the nose next if he trys to puch you you grab his arm push it over and kick him in the balls as hard AS HARD AS YOU CAN,THEN GET THE HELL OUTTA THERE
Wow, good luck in whatever you decide to do. In reading your question, I can tell you’re a good, intelligent person. I know you will make the right decision for you. It is terrible to have to move away, but if that’s what has to happen for you to be free of your parents, you should strongly consider the foster home option. I would think this is the best way for you to keep getting your insulin without going home, but I am no expert on this stuff. OR like someone else said, you could stick it out living with friends while getting a small part-time job (if you need money) or helping out around the house if you can’t get a job. Then if it doesn’t work out with your friends or you can’t get your insulin, you should again reconsider the foster home option.
Don’t ever live with your parents again. Sorry I don’t have anything else to offer, but I have never been through anything like this.
I know it’s tough. I was beat when I was young, until I finally grabbed the belt my dad had and raised my fist. He was 6′ and I was @ 5’6" but he knew I was ready to rumble. He called me a F**king punk, but they never hit me again.
Life always faces us with hard decisions… Good things have a downside and bad things have an upside, recognize what you can live with.
You have options and many good suggestions, the action lays in your hands.
Sorry to hear that your life is so bad. If your brothers are married or have girl friends show them the bruises on your ribs and legs arm, head. If they don’t have a g/f find a female you both trust and show her. If you have child protective services there call them. Do have grand parent who could help. Foster homes would be better than getting beat up all the time
Jackie, I won’t repeat what the other people suggested because they all gave good suggestions. But i will say this. In terms of dealing with your parents, you may have a lot of feelings of regret or hatred towards them, and you may have considered your mistreatment as something that "shouldn’t have happened." However, people are only capable of acting out the content of what’s on their mind. So while it looks like they are just being "bad" people, they are doing the only thing they can be doing. If you notice, when either your mom or dad are having another episode of violence, how they are really just confused into believing that you are the cause of their misery, you will probably feel less burdened by the wrath they try to inflict upon you. I’m not preaching here or telling you how to live, I am just suggesting a way by which you no longer personalize their behavior, and thus you can feel completely in control of what you feel. It is VERY refreshing to know that people are only capable of running the content of their minds. Their rage and fury has nothing to do with you.
Jackie honey all I can say is I wish I was your mother.I rarely drink and don’t do any drugs and I don’t smoke cigarettes. I just think it’s a big turn off to be addicted to anything.I totally understand where your coming from.My father was abusive to us and my mother. They both were heroin addicts.If I can Help in any way please let me know sweety.live in B.C to but I don’t know if it means the same as yours.
Move in with a relative
Dear Jackie, We have gotten to know something about you by your Ya questions to us. I know you don’t want to hear about God. So here’s what you do. 1. Bring your behind in the house about 8,9 or 10 PM with out fail. Establish this pattern and then your parents won’t worry and grab you by the neck. 2. From now on it’s yes mom,no mom, yes dad, no dad, WITHOUT FAIL. 3. How did that chaos with Mike turn out? Limit your time with Mike. 4. Stay out of trouble. Remember I told you parents don’t like surprises. 5. Just before you go to bed whichever one of them is around either Mom or Dad say I love you Mom, or I love you Dad. Also catch them in the morning or while Mom is making breakfast or Dad is working on the car or doing some chore around the house, and just start saying I love Mom, I love you Dad. Keep it up and eventually they will start saying I love you Jackie back.
We know, you don’t have to tell us that you haven’t been an angel. we know that part of all the yelling and choking at the neck has to do with you’re getting yourself in trouble. Look Jackie no matter wether your parents are alcoholics or not God says" to honor your mother and father so your days may be long upon the land which the Lord your God gives you". This is the first commandment with a promise. You honor your Mother and Father and I will cause you to live long. You have only two more years to go before you graduate high school. So stick it out. Start planning what you want to do with your life after high school. Really, make a plan write it out on a piece of paper. High school, Summer job(by hook or by crook) , Learn a trade while in high school – typing, cooking,photography,hair dressing(washing, perming,curling,cutting,applying extensions etc.) If you are going to start your own life you must be careful about who you let in to your life and who you trust and most of all you are going to have to be BOLD and ask for what you want. You say you won’t go to foster care, I really can’t blame you. so you are going to have to make the best of it at home,stay out of your Mom and Dad’s way when they are drinking.Hide if you have to. Let your parent’s know where you are when you are out of the house.Return to the house when you say you will return.,this will make things go better for you. 6. Get together with your brothers and talk about what you all are going to do with your lives, what you want to be, and how you are going to earn money, (this will help all of you , and it may cause your brothers to help you achieve some of your goals.) It looks like your brothers may be the only family you will have, so don’t loose touch with them. Apply the things I have told you and the abuse should stop. Good luck Jackie. Love all the way from Brooklyn, N.Y.