Just an example:
my daughter had 2 baskets full of her clothes in the front room. I asked her to help put them away; she said ‘no.’ My husband didn’t say anything to her; he starts yelling at me, telling me he wants the clothes out of there. When I reminded him she doesn’t want to help, he starts yelling at me, saying, "STOP!"
he acts like he’s done nothing wrong. he’s got part of it right: he’s done NOTHING. he watches t.v., goes off with whomever, and goes to bed early. even now he’s watching t.v. i really don’t know what to do.
he tried to ‘punish’ me earlier by "leaving" me, because i told him that we need to be on the same page, and as long as he fights me, she’s just going to be confused and nothing’s going to get done. he told me he’s leaving, i can go around with no car, and told our daughter to come with him. she cried and said, "No, I love my mom too much to leave her." (thank God.) after he left, she cried so hard, blaming herself for not obeying me. i said, "Oh wow, you didn’t obey. That’s ground for divorce." (that was after i continuously told her that she is not to blame; daddy’s just trying to punish me.) she kinda giggled, realizing it had nothing to do with her. we started to clean up, and he showed back up. he’s still being mean to me, tho, so i’m trying to stay away from him.
he’s just such a jerk to me. and i keep letting it happen. now he’s done it in front of our daughter. this is no good. she deserves better.
i don’t want us to break up, but i can’t take his constant belligerence and belittling me. he will act like he helps around the house when we have company, then stops as soon as they’re gone. then he wants to complain that the house is a mess, tho i’m CONSTANTLY working. if that isn’t bad enough, i’ve been so worried about bills, like medicine. we have no money in our pockets right now. but then i find out he bought 2 0 WII systems for his grand kids, through layaway. (so much more important than afford for diabetic test strips!) i’ve gone without in soooo many ways (I have ONE pair of socks to my name, for example), just to find out he’s WASTING our money til we’re broke.
i’m obviously not going to get through to him. what else can i do? do i HAVE to leave him? we only have one car, and without being together, i won’t stand a chance. i only ge 0/month. (I’m disabled with spina bifida.) he doesn’t make that much more than i do, which is all the more reason we need each other, financially.
it isn’t fair to our daughter or me. and it isn’t like he doesn’t know HOW to be nice. you should see him with the grands. he’s so funny and personable with them.
there’s got to be an answer. what am i missing? i’m sure i’m too close to the situation to think clearly.
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